$200 Krispy Kreme ReHeater

This entry focuses on the microwave. IMO, the only one thing that the microwave does well is reheat Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Eight seconds and they're restored to their magical state. You know what I'm talking about... you have to keep looking at the doughnut to make sure it's not raw. They're the raw cookie dough of the breakfast family. I digress. Point is, this is the only use of the microwave that can't be done better elsewhere.

Ok... I hear you. 90% of you have just said, "What about popcorn?". The truth is, if you think the microwave makes good popcorn, it's only because you eat microwave popcorn all the time, and don't realize what popcorn is supposed to taste like. If you don't believe me, spend $20 and get a Whirly Pop (http://www.whirleypop.com/). You'll remember what popcorn used to taste like... before the microwave, before Jiffy Pop, and before the movies overloaded popcorn with too much salt and gobs of butter. Just a Whirly Pop, 1/2 cup of popping corn, a couple teaspoons of oil, some salt and melted butter (and my personal favorite: yeast) and you'll know what I'm talking about.

At the risk of dismantling my entire argument, I'd like to add the fact that I pretty much wouldn't survive w/o my microwave. As a father of three kids, I definitely give my microwave plenty of use. I'm just not proud of it.