Fondue, the food you don't eat with the skinny fork

Greetings from Atlanta, where I participated in another Top Secret meeting of the Royal Fondue Society. About 20 members from all over the world gathered with our fearless leaders (The Sovereign & His Viceroy who shall remain anonyous) and settled in at "Dante's Down the Hatch" for an evening of fun and fondue. While the famous jazz band was not in attendance it didn't stop us from singing "I'll Have to Say I love You in a Song" along with the solo acoustic guitar dude.

There was a medieval-length table packed with our compadres... those who are fond of the skinny forks and small bowls of food. There were many choices for sampling - the international cheese fondue was incredible, dipping breads, apples, and vegetables. A few of us had the mandarin meats, marinated in an asian way, perfect for stick-ing in oil and eating (but not right away!) and dipping sauces. The cardinal sin of fondue feasting is that you do NOT eat the food with the long cooking forks, you put it on the plate and eat like a normal person. As much as we want to really be like sophisticated pirates, we aren't. I ate mine that way anyhow, I couldn't help it.

Having been a little rusty on my fondue cooking instructions, I was reminded about timing on the simmering duration of the meats, fish, chicken, and pork. My internal clock is great, but you have to account for the temperature of the oil itself, 160 degrees and you start killing the bacteria, and whether shrimp is supposed to be grey or do you leave it in a while. Dante the proprietor himself came over and gave us the "real story" behind salmonella, how you get it and some great "transmission tales" of bacteria. Needless to say, within 30 seconds I was washing my hands.

Who needs tapas when you have fondue? A great meal to share, fun banter when your sticks get mixed up (hint - place 2 different items on to identify your stick, like a mushroom and chicken), and you leave the restaurant smelling like something oily - like a diner but without the smoky bacon reek.

The Sovereign of the Royal Fondue Society and his First Lady of the Fork had given my husband and I a fondue set for our wedding. It's like friendship, fun, and 'the way it oughta be' all boxed up with a silver bow - a real treasure for years to come.

$200 Krispy Kreme ReHeater

This entry focuses on the microwave. IMO, the only one thing that the microwave does well is reheat Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Eight seconds and they're restored to their magical state. You know what I'm talking about... you have to keep looking at the doughnut to make sure it's not raw. They're the raw cookie dough of the breakfast family. I digress. Point is, this is the only use of the microwave that can't be done better elsewhere.

Ok... I hear you. 90% of you have just said, "What about popcorn?". The truth is, if you think the microwave makes good popcorn, it's only because you eat microwave popcorn all the time, and don't realize what popcorn is supposed to taste like. If you don't believe me, spend $20 and get a Whirly Pop (http://www.whirleypop.com/). You'll remember what popcorn used to taste like... before the microwave, before Jiffy Pop, and before the movies overloaded popcorn with too much salt and gobs of butter. Just a Whirly Pop, 1/2 cup of popping corn, a couple teaspoons of oil, some salt and melted butter (and my personal favorite: yeast) and you'll know what I'm talking about.

At the risk of dismantling my entire argument, I'd like to add the fact that I pretty much wouldn't survive w/o my microwave. As a father of three kids, I definitely give my microwave plenty of use. I'm just not proud of it.

Pork Roll, the other cookout meat

All Hail Pork Roll! For those of you not familiar with this glorious "meat", allow me to introduce you to the alternate to the hot dog or hamburger at the next picnic (that's what we call 'em in NJ). Why do I wave the pork roll flag high in the air? It's the famous food from Trenton NJ, my official birthplace. The fact that I'm a carnivore, and this treat was born the same place as yours truly is no cosmic surprise.

Pork Roll is one of those comfort foods that while growing up as a finicky kid was on the same culinary playing field as minute steaks and macaroni and cheese (the frozen kind you bake in the pie tin vs. Kraft). It comes in this canvas-like roll that is sliced off and fried up, put on a kaiser roll, often with cheese and mustard (spicy is best). Most popular optional use of pork roll is with an egg for breakfast. The best I can describe the taste is... a spicy spam-like ham variant - it's got a similar tasty zippy kick like a hot dog, but it's a ham foundation.

High school summers were spent working the grill at my neighborhood WaWa market/convenience store, with one location near the Congoleum plant (they made porcelain thrones and more). I'm whipping up Pork Roll, Egg, and Cheese (on a Kaiser Bun) for the guys coming out of 3rd shift who are eating dinner at 7am. NOTE - Ween made a song titled as such, you can see the video on you tube.

On my seasonal trips to NJ, I still pick up a couple 4 or 6 slice packs. I've only been allowed to cook and eat Pork Roll sandwiches when alone because the smell, taste, and name offend any citizen from outside the NJ/NY/PA area, including my poor husband. To this day, I have been unsuccessful in recruiting any newbie adult age pork roll fans. Try interviewing anyone to see if they've ever eaten pork roll AND like it, and you'll find a native of that tri-state area. I think you have to be raised on it to enjoy it, there's tons of businesses who specialize in mail order pork roll. Feel free to share your pork roll stories here, you'll find a shoulder to lean on with me - especially those of you who have to resort to the internet to order it.

For those interested, Wikipedia gives an impressive lowdown of the culture and history of Pork Roll.

How To Make A Peanut Butter Sandwich

Everyone loves peanut butter sandwiches. There's the great peanut butter and jelly vs. peanut butter and fluff debate. As a future adult-onset diabetic, I can truly say I am addicted to sugar. While wine connoisseurs appreciate the fine subtleties of a glass of Cabernet, there is nothing subtle about my ravenous lust for sugar. In the great debate, I say Fluff. Hands down.

(Note: I have run into people not familiar with marshmallow fluff. For your information, check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshmallow_creme. I'm proud to say that fluff has some strong ties to New England.)

Below is the secret to my favorite peanut butter sandwich:

Whole Wheat Bread - Although it may not be what you'd expect, a prefer a hearty whole wheat bread for my peanut butter sandwich. Choose something with some thickness that contributes to the sandwich experience. Toasted Marshmallow - Generously spread the marshmallow fluff on one piece of bread and toast it in the toaster over. Peanut Butter - Another great peanut butter debate: chunky vs. creamy. Personally, I tend to favor creamy because I don't want the chunks to get in the way of enjoying the sweet marshmallow fluff on my tongue. That being said, I'm definitely not a zealot and do appreciate a good chunky spread as well. Nutella - If you have not yet discovered this miracle spread or think it's for Europeans only, you are missing out. Like the hot pepper jelly I used to get at a farmer's market in San Francisco, I find myself purchasing things at the supermarket for the sole purpose of being a vehicle for this yummy spread. Spreading - Immediately after the toasting is done, spread equal parts of peanut butter and Nuttella on the non-fluff piece of bread. The two quantities combined should be approximately how much peanut butter you would put on a sandwich normally. Due to the fact that the toast is still warm, the peanut butter and Nutella should melt a little (yum). Enjoy - put the two sides of the sandwich together and cut the sandwich in half - diagonally, of course.

- He Said

Ratios and Combining Flavors

At the age of 34, as a relatively adventurous eater, there are few discrete 'flavors' that I have not yet tasted. Therefore, as a general rule, new taste experiences are created by combining multiple flavors. Along with simply finding flavors that blend well together, it's crucial to mix them in the correct ratios.

One such example is the Twix bar. The chocolate, caramel, and cookie in a Twix bar are all optimally proportioned. Consider a Twix with significantly more chocolate. Along with calling attention to the fact that the quality of the chocolate doesn't hold up on its own against a good solid chocolate bar, it would begin to overpower the subtle caramel flavor. The caramel itself is well-proportioned to provide a little chewyness to contrast the cookie as well as provide an injection of sugary sweetness as you bite into the bar.

The cookie, the key to Twix's success, is also perfectly proportioned. Not only does the cookie provide the correct ratio in terms of flavor, but more importantly, it provides just the right amount of crunch. What differentiates the Twix bar from other candy bars is its combination of textures. A thinner cookie wouldn't provide enough crunch while a thicker one would overpower the caramel and chocolate.

An example of the subtleties of ratio can been seen when you look at Twix's crunchy cousin, the Kit Kat. Like the Twix, the Kit Kat is well proportioned for both flavor and texture. Unlike the Twix, the Kit Kat has an estranged big brother, the Big Kat. Released in 2000 the Big Kat is essentially the same thing as the standard Kit Kat, but about four times the size. Somehow, in the process of making the Kit Kat larger, they lost track of the ratios. The larger size is harder to bite and the chocolate on the outside overpowers the wafer.

Sooo... next time you eat, think about not just the individual ingredients, but the ratios of those ingredients and how they work together. Think about the interplay between the elements that make up the food you're eating.

Salad needs dressing and dressing needs salad. Chocolate enhances peanut butter and peanut butter enhances chocolate.

Portion Control - and I mean CONTROL

I'm not sure at what age this came about, but I've been a huge fan of eating my food "evenly" until it is finished. Perhaps it was a fondness for the trio of tastes on my plate, or a culinary match made in heaven, but some foods taste so good you can't bear to eat one first and be done with it - the good feeling must go on! The hardest part is trying to decide what bite you are going to end on...

The photo here is the tail end of a brunch this past Sunday with bacon, scrambled eggs dry (I will write about 'buffet eggs' at some point when I can get a good wiggly wet egg photo of them), and marble rye toast. I must not tell a lie, I had a side of french toast (one slice) that was puddled in butter and only lasted about 8 seconds. For the record, I ended up on the rye toast as a last bite, preferring a crunchy butter bite to greasy meat or eggy eggs. - SHE SAID

The Perfect Candy

While there is no doubt that I am a food lover, I am partial to all things sweet. That being said, one of my favorite candies of all time is the Cadbury Mini Egg. Today I had the good fortune of finding a post-Easter 75% off sale -- 8.5oz bags for $0.75!!! I bought enough for me and extras to bring to the office.




What makes the Mini Egg so special? A great place to start, is by comparing it to the extremely popular M&M. In my opinion, there is no contest.

Let's start with the shell. M&M's have a colorful, shiny shell that, as you know, melts in your mouth, not in your hand. On the other hand, the Mini Egg, has a rougher, thinner shell. The immediate advantage this provides is flavor. Rough exterior implies more surface area. That means more of the sugary coating for your tongue to taste. Additionally, because it's thin, the shell will melt in your mouth faster than the shell of M&M's. In fact, more often than not, the Mini Eggs already have a slight crack along which the egg will split when you start eating it.

The other difference between Mini Eggs and M&M's is the chocolate. IMO, the creamier the better when it comes to chocolate. While the chocolate in M&M's is decent (definitely better than Hershey's), it doesn't compare to Cadbury's. It's creamy and quickly melts in your mouth. Due to this fact, unlike M&M's, you don't have to let them melt in your mouth for a long time to get full enjoyment from them. With M&M's, I generally will let a few of them sit in my mouth for about a minute to let the chocolate start to melt before I chew them. With Mini Eggs, on the other hand, I will chew them immediately and still feel like I'm fully enjoying them.

Future postings may include other 'perfect' candies. On my list, you will find: Kit Kat, Twix, Ginger Altoids and Wintergreen Life Savers.